visitation

Sorry for the lack of posts, but I've been busy entertaining granny and grandpa, who flew over from UK last week. POOR MUMMY. Granny was nearly deported on arrival, 'cos of her shonky visa / passport - kind of ironic for Australia to be turning away colonials of the British Empire, but I guess times are hard and she might try stealing our jobs and/or wimminfolk. POOR MUMMY.
It's pretty exhausting having them around - they're always wanting to drag me out for walks or crawling after... I just can't get any privacy these days. Anyway, Dad's putting them on the train to Sydders tomorrow morning so I might get a lie-in. POOR MUMMY.
They didn't bring many pressies so I'll have to have words. 'Pre-loved' books don't cut the mustard in the Noughties - I mean, I even got 50 smakkers out of Uncle Silvano the other day, so wot good's a half-chewed Beatrix Potter book to me? POOR MUMMY.
POOR MUMMY me arse. POOR DADDY. POOR DADDY my little chubby wrists.
Ps I think Mum's hacked into my blog - there's no way I would have written that! Oh, hang on hasn't Daddy been at my blog my whole life? Hmmmmm, interesting....

new gaffe

Not overly impressed with the new abode (pics / vid to follow when Dad pulls his finger out). Sure it's got improved crawlability but I miss being carried up and down the stairs 6 times a day and the view is shithouse - I can't see over the front wall. On the plus side, I have located a doorstopper I can dislodge with great ease and the gas fire is nice and toasty, although Mum won't let me get close enuff. It's friggin perishing in the rest of the house.
The move was a bit disappointing - Dad didn't break or lose anything, although I tried my best to help him. Our new neighbour, Efi, is lovely. I burst into tears whenever she comes round to get extra sympathy and pressies. It's working so far - yummy biscuits on day 1 and then a cloth teething book (I make a point of chewing cardboard when she sees me so she thinks I don't have any proper toys). Bonza! You can never have too many.
Dad keeps on promising to dig up the garden and plant stuff, so there should be some ace manure and topsoil to play in soon - can't wait, although I'll probably have to restrain myself 'til Mum goes out. Apparently Granny and Grandpa are coming over soon, so I'll see how the tears 4 sympathy trick works on them too. They pointedly refuse to get Broadband, so no fear of them reading this in advance - ha!

low profile

Apologies for the lack of postings but it's very hard to get compoota time in this house. My scribe is always tapping away at the keyboard (at least that's what he tells his supervisor), but does he ever get around to typing up my dictated musings? Nah. Too busy GoogleEarthing... the bane of my life, all this new teknologee.
I even caught him sleeping on the job (of minding me) the other day... ok, I was out for the count myself, but the camera never lies.
The parental unit have been dragging me around to different houses of late, so I suspect something's up. Not that they've asked my permission or thoughts or anything. Personally, I think they should check out rentals in Kirribilli, 'cos it seems a pictureskew area with friendly neighbours... not that I've had my latest $900 from Mr Rudd yet - Mum spent the last lot, so I'm down to my last brass farthings. It's really embarrassing having to cadge off other kids when we go out for babychinos.
I'm going to give Gymbaroo a go this week. Apparently it's no-holds barred all-in wrestling and extreme sports - sounds ace. And then up to Sydders for a wild weekend - see you kids there :-)

Earth Hour

I have to confess that I slept through Earth Hour... Dad says they should have it more often, but Mum says he's jaded. Personally I think he needs to get more sleep.
I've been feeling a bit out of sorts since getting stabbed at the doctors', again. Nice enuff chap, the doc, but bloody incompetent - he completely missed Dad's arm and stuck the needle in my leg. I think I'll sue. Dad says we have to go back next week 'cos of it all. I hope he doesn't get sick before then.

Back on the Blog

G'day readers! Yes, I'm back... well, I never was away, but my errant scribe has returned and I've decided to re-employ him. Honestly, you'd think there'd be a surfeit of qualified typists clamouring to work for me, given these economic times, but nah, looks like I'm stuck with the incumbant.
Anyhow, since I was last on line, I've perfected backward crawling, which is much trickier and more useful than going forwards, plus a mate who's seeing a shrink (purely in a professional capacity, of course), says he's only interested in what's behind you, rather than what's ahead of you.
I've also started to broaden my diet - got a bit bored of the white stuff. Current faves are smoked salmon and cucumber canopies, with a sprinkling of dill, although Dad keeps on stuffing buttered toast in my mouth at brekkers. Got him back this morning by getting up at 5:45am. Ha! He'll pretty much give me whatever I ask for at that hour in the morning, and then I can have a kip later.
Saw a paediatrician on Wed. Easiest case she's likely to have this year, although I was a bit disappointed in her selection of tests - I can do SO much more than bash things, but hey ho, if that's what you want me to do.
Right, better have a kip - apparently we're going duck hunting at Fairfield this arvo when it cools down a bit.

situation vacant

I've just been informed by my errant scribe that he's buggering off to Pella next week for a couple of months, so I'm going to have to advertise for a temp to keep the blog going in his absence. Mum says she's too busy wiping bottoms.
It also came to my attention yesterday that the Italian in the version of Nonna's song which Dad sings isn't quite spot on - he's be warbling something about hitting lemons (Batty lemoni), whereas it's actually 'Batte gli mani' or clap your hands. Anyway, just a couple of gripes - you can't get the staff these days.
Xmas was quite good - got some tasty wrapping paper, and my friend Gerry the Giraffe has moved in. He enjoys a good wrestle, and puts up more resistance than the Aussie top-order batsmen, so he keeps me amused. Have a great New Year - I'm aiming to see it in with a milky bevvy around midnight myself.

beardie-weirdies

Thanks to Piet for the suggestion - I now feel more reassured that I won't look like Dad when I grow up.